TRANSFORMATIONS SUCCESS STORY #7
I've just come in from attending Real Social Dynamics' 2006 Superconference. Ideally I'd wait a day or two before writing a review so that I can let my thoughts settle a little, but I've got the time now and I'm not going anywhere before bedtime. It's also about time I posted something useful that doesn't just say "Stop posting stupid ego-rubbing look at me, I'm pimp, mack-daddy, me-too one-liners"
I've known the RSD guys for several years now, about since they started out, I guess. This is the third of their seminars I've been to, or been to part of in that time span. I've really felt that I've witnessed the guys and their teaching grow a lot in that time.
So you read this the right way, I have to point out that I was there as their non-paying guest. Take that how you will - it isn't meant as a brag, but just so you can take a view on both my impartiality and how I might assign value to something I got for free.
As it happens, I nearly didn't attend all of the seminar. The first day was a Friday, so I had to take a day off work, which means losing a day's pay, blah, blah. I was expecting a weekend of lines and routines from sincere but perhaps slightly misguided PUA types. Not really my favourite thing. Anyway, I was getting bored at work, an invitation's an invitation and I was curious to catch up with the guys and hear Tyler's latest "tech".
The Superconference is an RSD seminar. Unlike their in-field bootcamps, this is a pure classroom experience with a bit of self-guided homework thrown in on the evening. The schedule was 11:00am to 6:00pm and over the two days, four RSD executive coaches, (Tim, Jeff aka Jlaix, Ozzie and Hoobie) plus Tyler spoke, finishing with an extensive panel Q&A session to finish.
Tyler's stated goal was to get the coaches (and himself) up there in front of the room to get across who they were as people. They really weren't out to teach the mechanics of "game". A lot of that was already assumed. I haven't seen their recent seminar product but am told that it is well covered in there, which was why they wanted to do something different this time.
All of the coaches have surprisingly similar stories - starting out terrible with girls, hitting rock bottom, then realising that things had to change. Working their way up through the PUA-wringer - the social robot thing, 7 nights a week clubbing for four years, etc, etc. And coming out of all that in the end with a kind of acknowledgment that although that may now seem like wasted time, for them it was all part of the process and what it took to get to where they are now.
These guys are all sincere and I believe them. It is easy for me to look at, say Ozzie and think, well heck the guy's good looking, no wonder he pulls. It would be too convenient for me to therefore dismiss what he says. I'm sure his looks help, but getting more of a feel for who he is through his presentation and humour, made me realise that what he has is something anyone can get. Not saying it would be easy, but it is possible.
The guys are very realistic about what it takes to get good. The marketing material may read a bit quick-fix but the seminar message makes it clear that it is going to take work. There's a price to pay to get good. I really admire the guys for going the difficult route with their seminar. They don't present a "Do this, do that and you'll get laid" crowd-pleasing guide. There isn't one. They're not pushing a popular message here.
There seems to have been quite a shift in RSD thinking towards Inner Game. They didn't spend much time on techniques and even when they did were pretty clear on the game not being about the techniques. ie that material that would work for them works because of who they are and how they do it, not because of the material. I had a night of trying variants of their "I like salad" opener and bombed pretty much every time. Plenty of "You're the wierd guy", looks from women. Don't worry, guys, I've stopped crying now.
Unlike other courses/products, the guys aren't trippy or mystical about Inner Game. This isn't affirmations, or pretend stuff. In fact they're not really teaching, as such. There aren't Inner Game Techniques. It is just the guys there sharing who they are, giving examples and telling it like it is for them. By the end, the message as I heard it was pretty clear - If you want to get good at this, you already know what you need to do and now you just need to step up as a man and do it.
I suspect that this seminar may not be for everyone in its current form. (I understand that they're doing at least one more like it that will be turned into a audio/streaming video product, but don't know if they'll continue to run it the way it is after that)
The guys don't sugar-coat game and they don't pander to the PUA obsession with games, lines, openers and material. I'm mixed on whether or not this would make a good beginner seminar. The guys are great role models and definitely would set you on the right track. I don't know, though, if some of it would be a shade advanced - a lot of knowledge and terminology is assumed.
For an advanced guy, this seminar could also be tricky - there is a pretty strong message running throughout. You've probably already heard it, though. Thing is, if you're not where you want to be, then you're probably not really hearing that message properly. The seminar will help you there. It is inspirational stuff. Also at an advanced level, you've got the world's top PUAs there. It'll be up to you to ask the right questions to milk that. The guys are there to help and will answer.
I felt that this seminar was RSD's way of "Doing the Right Thing". I'd been a shade unconvinced by some of their earlier stuff. I'd seen it working but still felt something up with it. Hard to put a finger on, but Jeffy (very roughly paraphrased) spoke about being a person who had a thin veneer of game over a person that wasn't who he wanted to be, or even especially liked being. The guys spoke about how many men (selves included) use game and sex as their form of validation. There was a real emphasis this time on internal validation. Because the guys have the experience, they present this with real life examples. For me, this really helped bring the seminar away from the abstract and down to reality.
On a personal note, I feel that Tyler and RSD have changed a lot since we first met. I'd previously found Tyler a little hard to relate to and maybe a bit too socially guarded behind the PUA persona. That's gone now and leaves behind a genuine guy. He's had to go through goodness knows what to get there. He strikes me as a very driven person and I'm grateful that he has taken the time to share what he has learned with others.
- Adrian Dale, London, England